June 1, 2000
Dear Diary,
I always wanted to write a very personal diary. But privacy in India is a rare commodity. Now that I am in London, I have lots of privacy. Once Ravi goes to office, I am all alone! Then, its just my computer and me.
I can't imagine its been 2 weeks since our wedding. All things happened so fast! I and Ravi met only once and then our parents decided to marry us! We didn't even have enough time for honeymoon. Just flew in couple of days to London.
But then Ravi had made nice arrangements here. We have a big apartment. Being a guy, Ravi did a good job with the furnishing! But I will re-arrange it to my liking. So our honeymoon happened in our own house, in our own bed! I was so anxious at the first night!
Technically, I was a until the wedding night. But that doesn't mean Ravi was the first man in my life. I had a year long affair with Manish. Manish and I studied in same college. We had shared a lot of intimate moments. The whole thing with Manish had started with a casual friendship, going together to coffee shop etc. Slowly we developed a strong friendship. That time my favorite activity was to go out on a long drive with Manish on his Hero Honda Karizma bike. While riding his bike, I often got pushed on his back whenever he put breaks. First, I didn't realize, but later I realized that Ravi was intentionally driving rash to enjoy my breast's touch. When I noticed his intentions, shivers went through my whole body. I actually was thrilled. So later on, I never waited for him to apply breaks. Instead, I started clinging onto him from behind.
I and Manish started getting more and more adventurous. We started smooching and kissing. One day, Manish took me to his friend's vacant house. We watched an adult movie. While watching movie, Manish started fondling with my breasts. He also unbuttoned my top. I was already excited by watching the movie, so I did not resist. In no time, I was naked. Manish too got undressed. I was enjoying his kissing and sucking on my breasts. I was too wet between my groins. Manish's hard penis was touching my naked body. First, I felt uncomfortable with it. It was my first time. But I ignored it since what Manish was doing with my breasts and nipple was very exciting. Manish's hard penis rubbed against my genital area. It was such a great feeling. I was totally overwhelmed with the excitement. But just then, I felt warm liquid against my thighs. First I had thought thatManish couldn't control his pee and I felt very dirty. I pushed Manish away and then realized that it was a thick white fluid. My friends had told me that men ejaculate semen during intercourse. I took a napkin and wiped it off.Manish lied on the ground. He looked completely exhausted. I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself and came back. Manish was still lying there. I noticed that his penis had shrunk. I was a bit amused, I asked him to get dressed since I was getting late to home.
That night, I was very quiet at home. After we had dinner, we all watched TV for some time and then my parents went to bed in their bedroom. I and my sister Rekha prepared our bedding in the living room. That was our daily routine. Rekha was as usual talking about her friends and teachers at college. But I was in no mood to listen. She even asked me what had happened. But I told her that I had a mild headache.
Sometimes at midnight, I woke up from a dream about the incident that had happened between me and Manish. I looked besides me. Rekha was fast asleep. I replayed the incident with Manish in my mind. Immediately, I sensed wetness in my panties. I opened the front buttons of my gown and put my hands inside it. I wanted to squeeze my nipple. But the bra was tight. So I sat on the bed, loosed the bra strapped and again lied on the bed. Now I could touch my breast inside the bra. I squeezed it and circled my fingers around my nipple and then I held my nipple between my index finger and thumb and pulled it. It sent current through my entire body. Now I pulled my gown from bottom up with my other hand. And I put my hand inside thepantie. I explored my genital area trying to locate the spot where Manish's hard penis had rubbed to give me an heavenly experience. I found the spot. I rubbed it with my fingers and I was very excited. I could feel the area getting very wet. I continued to rub and at the same time squeeze my breast with other hand. Wow, it was a wonderful experience. I was squirming in the bed. My sister next to me had no idea of what I was experiencing. But now, my thighs and groins became stiff. My genital muscles contracted. It was a blissful state for next minute or so. I felt very relaxed. I just laid in that position for few minutes, before I straightened my clothes. I didn't realize when I slept.
Since then, I and Manish shared several intimate moments. But I never let him enter inside. I wanted to keep that experience until the wedding night. That time, I didn't even know that it won't beManish, but Ravi who I would get married to. After our college, Manish went to US for further studies and we didn't realize how our contact just faded away. I sometimes wonder where he would be and what he would be doing. For some reason, I did not feel like I lost his love though. May be it was more of an infatuation than love.
So, after Ravi and I met first time formally in front of our parents, our parents liked our pair. My mother asked me what I thought. Actually, I had nothing negative against Ravi to point out. He was well settled in London. He looked like any ordinary guy. He had picked up the British manners like keeping on saying sorry and thank you in every other statement. But he still had an Indian accent. Although it was not a love at first sight, I thought it was good for me to marry Ravi. He was financially stable, and he lived in London so not much interference from in-laws.
Our marriage was a modest ceremony. It was held in Mumbai's most reputed club in an A/C hall. We were so exhausted by the ceremony that when we got in our car to go home, I told Ravi "If you don't mind I would just like to go to bed". Ravi looked at me surprised, but he nodded. He seemed to agree since in the morning we had a small pooja and that evening we had a 3:00PM flight to London. So it was going to be very hectic next day also. We went to my in-law's house first to complete some pending ceremonies. We also got chance to freshen up and change into simple clothes. I felt so relieved after taking out my jewelleries and richly embroidered saree.
We left my in-laws house at around 10 at night. My sister in-laws had packed my bag for the wedding night stay. We checked into the Taj at Nariman point. There was a rose bouquet and mint chocolate kept on our bed. The room temperature was kept perfect. Not too cold, but cool enough. As we entered and shut the door behind us, I put my bag on the luggage stand. Ravi made sure that he locked the door and he held me from behind. He kissed my neck from behind and whispered in my ears, "Happy wedding night!" I turned around and put my arms around his neck. I rubbed my nose against him and wished him the same. I rememberedManish. Ravi very gently kissed my lips. I felt like this was the first legitimate kiss I was having. Manish and I had kissed many times, but having raised in conservative Hindu culture, I always had guilty feeling indulging in intimate relationship withManish. For that matter, I had a guilty feeling about masturbating too.
I released myself from Ravi's arms and told him that I will change. Ravi let me go. I opened my bag. My sisters-in law had packed some flavored condoms, a DVD set titled Better Sex series sexplorations and a white satin spaghetti straps gown. I looked at Ravi and said "Your sisters are very naughty! Look at what they packed!" Ravi came towards me smiling. He put a hand around me and said, "After all, they are my sisters! They packed rest of the stuff. I only packed the gown. I bought it. You liked it?" I nodded and said, "Yeah, but I have near worn anything so sexy!" Ravi smiled and said "Neither had you kissed a man before today!" I looked at Ravi. He made that statement very innocently. I thought, "poor guy! he doesn't know this isn't my first kiss". I smiled at him and said "OK! I will wear it". I took the gown and a new pair of my undergarments and walked towards the bathroom. "Varsha, there is a wearing instruction for the gown. They say that the gown is effective only when you don't wear anything underneath it" Ravi said and chuckled. I turned my neck to look at him. He winked at me. He looked cute with that naughty face. I had started liking him. But thought ofManish still came up in my mind. If it was Manish, he would have just grabbed me and stripped me naked by now. Ravi was different. He was very smooth I thought.
I went to the bathroom and stripped my clothes off. I had done waxing at the beauty parlor earlier night. I wore that night gown and checked in the full size mirror. It was only knee high and had a wider neck to reveal my cleavage. Though it was satin, it was a bit transparent. I noticed that the hair cover on my genital was faintly visible. My nipples too pointed through the gown. I felt shy to directly go in front of Ravi like that.
So, I took the towel and wrapped around me and came out of the bathroom. Ravi was sitting on the bed surfing the TV channels. He had changed into a white t shirt and a short. As I came out, he looked at me and disapprovingly said, "What is this? Feeling shy in front of me? Should I ask for another room for me now or what?" I was actually shivering with the excitement and the cool air. I took a deep breath and told Ravi, "Ok! you have to shut your eyes." Ravi obliged. After he shut his eyes, I dropped the bath towel and folded my hands to cover my blossom and asked him to open his eyes. Ravi looked at me. His eyes gleamed. He got up from the bed and came towards me. He stood in front of me and held my shoulders. His firm but assuring grip on my shoulders sent shivers through my spine. Ravi bent down and kissed on the side of my neck. It felt so good. Again Manish's thought came in my mind. I could not stop comparing my husband with my previous lover. If it was Manish, he would have banged me down by now. But Ravi was very gentle. I felt very secured and cozy in his approach. A though came to my mind, "Is he used to pleasing women?" But I shrugged that thought off. I did not want to miss out the the fun I was having.
Ravi held me and took me towards the bed. He sat on the bed and made me stand in front of him. He took my hands and separated them from over my chest. Now he wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me closer to him. His head pressed against my body, just beneath my bust. I put my hand over his head and curled my fingers through his hair. He softly spoke, "You are very beautiful. I love you!" Ah! Those three magic words did much more to me than any erotic act I had indulged in. It enthused me. I quickly held his head and lifted it and bent down to kiss him. I kissed him fervently. He tightened his grip around my waist. We continued kissing. Our noses were brushing against each other. Our tongues were chasing each other. It was very intimate moment. Ravi was slowly unleashing his vigor. He had put his hands inside my gowns over my buttocks. His fingers buried in my buttock cheeks.
Now, Ravi threw himself on the bed dragging me with him. I fell over Ravi. My gown was lifted and my bottom was bare. My bushy pussy rubbed against Ravi's crotch. I felt his erect penis. I wanted to grab it, but I thought if I did that, he would realize that I had been with a man before. I focused only on kissing. After few seconds, he rolled me over. Now I was on lying on the bed and he was over me. He stared at me. Softly moving his hand through my hair. "How are you feeling right now?" He asked. "Scared!" I replied. Although I was feeling very hot, I thought if I revealed my true feelings, he would feel that I was a slut. He smiled and asked "Why?" I said, "This is very overwhelming. I have never experienced it" 'God! I am so good at faking', I thought. "Neither have I!" replied Ravi. I was pleasantly surprised! May be what I thought earlier about Ravi was untrue. Or May be he was as good a liar as I was! I thought. Human mind is so weird. It expects everyone else other than self to be perfect. I felt selfish about my thoughts. So, I shrugged them off and just tangled my hands around Ravi's neck and shut my eyes.
"Feeling sleepy?" asked Ravi. I nodded. It was a very long day for us. The hectic ceremony and meeting with hundreds of people had worn me down. Ravi got off of me and we both moved up in the bed. I was lying on my back. Ravi turned towards me and without touching me he kept staring at my body. Then he put his hand over my breast. The satin rubbed against my skin due to the pressure from his hands. It gave me a very sensational feeling. I softly moaned. My reaction encouraged Ravi and he pressed the breasts. I bit my lower lip and held Ravi's hand over my breasts. "Still feeling sleepy?" Ravi asked. I gave him a naughty look. Ravi understood my intentions. He became bolder. He lifted himself and came closer to me and kissed my cleavage. He licked it. I loved that wet touch of his tongue. Ravi now pulled the gown from my shoulders. My breast was exposed. Ravi kissed it. I moaned louder. I was loving what he was doing. Ravi started sucking my breast. I squirmed all over the bed.
Ravi played with my breasts for few minutes before he stopped and pulled up his shirt. He also took his pants off. I saw Ravi's hard erect penis. I thought it was smaller than that ofManish . It was throbbing with excitement. Now this was going to be my first experience. Having an intercourse. Ravi held his penis and directed it in my vagina. I was very wet, but still stiff in my groins. After struggling a bit, he got inside me. It was a bit painful, but I felt Ravi's thrust. It hit the sensitive area inside my vagina. It was a very intense experience and I screamed. Ravi looked at me and asked "Are you ok?" I nodded and signaled him to continue. Ravi stroked harder. I was moaning and shaking my head. I was overwhelmed with the intimate experience. I felt a squirt soaking my vaginal walls. Ravi's stroking was stopped. He had ejaculated inside me. Our marriage ceremony concluded that moment. We were truly a couple now. It was very intense. Ravi fell upon me. He was panting. The semen oozed out from my vagina. But I was so tired, I did not bother to clean up. We never realized when we dozed off.
Sometime in early morning, I woke up to find Ravi sucking my breasts. His erect penis touched my thighs. I was amazed. He was erect again. I responded to him. We kissed each other. He pressed my breasts and sucked them. He rode me and then again he shoved his erect penis inside me. I again experienced those heavenly strokes before he ejaculated. This time, amount of semen he squirted was less. But I enjoyed it. After he got off, I went to bathroom to clean myself. I noticed the bloodstains on the bed sheet. I showed them to Ravi. Ravi didn't say anything but I could sense that he had a sigh of relief. May be because he was assured that I was a virgin all these days. I felt good too.
So, this is how our married life began. There is lot more to write....
